The Instead List
What I do when I feel the pull of an influencer's products, promises, and pretty solutions
I don’t know if it’s the changing of the seasons, certain points in my cycle, or even just small triggers—but there are moments when I find myself more vulnerable to the belief that a product, a new habit, or a change in my space will be the thing that fixes everything... or at least makes me feel better.
If we’re being honest, I think many of us slip into this way of thinking from time to time. And sometimes the pull is so strong (hello, instagram!), it tugs me right out of my values and the rhythms I’ve worked hard to build.
So I’ve been slowly creating what I think of as a little contingency plan—something I call “The Instead List.”
It’s a list I keep in the notes app on my phone. On it are the things I tend to crave, fantasize about or impulsively purchase, alongside alternatives that feel more aligned with the kind of life I want to build.
This isn’t about judging the “things.” If something brings you joy and feels like an expression of your values, then there’s no need to swap it.
Everyone’s list will look different—what we long for and how we choose to meet those longings, is deeply personal.
Here are a few examples from mine:
Getting a gel manicure to feel more polished → Growing out my nails and taking time to file and oil them with jojoba or argan oil.
Buying the latest pricey skincare product to smooth out wrinkles → Booking a seasonal holistic facial.
Ordering that cute outfit I saw on a fitness influencer →Cleaning out my closet and indulging in a piece from one of my bookmarked cotton, hemp, or wool brands.
Getting a red light device to improve my mood → Prioritizing time outside each morning tends to have the same (if not better) effect, and helps me feel more connected.
Buying new barefoot sandals to feel fresh for summer → A simple pedicure (no polish needed) and encourages more barefoot grounding time.
Following a younger influencer for “motivation” even if their life is wildly different from mine → Curating my feed by unfollowing accounts that leave me feeling envious, irritated, or less than.
Dyeing my greys to feel more youthful → Getting a good haircut, pinning beautiful grey transitions on Pinterest and regular hair oiling feels like a more loving and authentic way to embrace my change hair colour.
Trying expensive flavoured electrolytes or protein powders → Making herbal infusions, adrenal cocktails or blending smoothies with unflavoured whey, fruit, and a touch of maple syrup.
Buying the latest kitchen gadget or cookbook in hopes it’ll help me get meals on the table → Revisiting our well-loved cookbooks, old eBooks, and making something from scratch feels just as inspiring.
Pouring a glass of wine to unwind → Keeping relaxing herbal tinctures, shelf-stable juices, or sparkling water on hand for mocktails gives me the same ritual without the aftermath.
✨ Paid subscribers get access to a little printable tool I made to help you identify your own Instead List—a gentle way to check in with your cravings and make choices that feel more like you.
